Coaching Tool of the Month

Ever tear your hair out trying to resize photos?

Just inserting the photos in this ezine can make me want to eat a pound of chocolate or call my coach for an emergency session.

Sandra DeFreitas, the Tech coach extraordinaire at the Multiple Streams team, told me about www.ResizeYourImage.com, a free tool that does wonders with photos.

The site works very simply. You just upload your image in any format; .gif, .jpeg, .tiff, etc, and then use the buttons on the site to crop it, enlarge or decrease it. You can even rotate it if you like.

When you have the image just the way you want it, just press a button, download it back to your computer, and it’s ready to use.

If you use photos in your emails, ezines, websites, or ebooks, try this free tool at www.ResizeYourPhoto.com and look like a pro!

No-Fee Tool | The Coaching Entrepreneur's Surrogate Boss

Andrea told me about this cool little free tool since she knows I have a tendency to go at full speed, and like many of you, tend to work too long without a break.

Instant Boss is a piece of software that you download to your computer. After you set it up, you will get a small grey reminder box popping up on your screen telling you to take a break.

When your break time is over, you get another box telling you to get back to work, complete with a funny graphic of a screaming boss- perfect for those days when you long for the corporate world.

Set the time intervals up as you see fit in the control panel shown above. Two hours of work, 10 minute break. Two and a half hours of work, half hour break. Whatever it is, remember that when you are self-employed, it is easy to fall into unreasonable working hours. The bad thing is that you can’t complain to your co-workers around the water cooler!

Keep yourself focused and healthy by taking breaks. Instant Boss will help.

Download this no-cost software at http://www.appsapps.info/instantboss.php

"These photos have a job to do; To help sell our customers' products!" - R.H.

So you've created a coaching product, now what? The above quote says it all. You want to sell your stuff - effortlessly and elegantly - getting your message out and making a difference to the world.

To that end, a supplier like Robert House Photography, creators of the images at left [of Laura Howard West's stunning new 'Joyful Business Guide' a Law of Attraction-based cure for the difficult-to-do, life-sucking Business Plan] are worth their weight in gold.

Thankfully they don't cost quite that much and they do accept credit cards. Reasonable, a pleasure to work with, and - God bless them - they understand that their job is not photography, it's marketing.

Another bonus? They list their pricing table right at their site and best of all - the images are 100% royalty free.

[Look for future posts featuring Laura as she notches up success after success with her product. Big name testimonials...nation-wide joint ventures, etc.]

Click 'continue reading' below to see the photos enlarged. Yummy!

Are you interested in collaborating with Laura to bring a coachable planning process to your small business clients? Email her here to discuss: laura@joyfulbusiness.com

» Continue reading

"Dear Andrea,

I have a client who doesn't like to plan. She is definitely living in the moment, yet she doesn't like her situation - money, love life, business - she's even unhappy with herself physically. How do I coach her when she resists planning ahead, even as far as a month or two?

She says she wants help building her business which is speaker training, and her business is doing ok as far as it goes - six figures, just. I just can't seem to find a way 'in' to help...is she uncoachable or am I missing something?

-- A.N., Missouri

Thanks A.N. for your great question. On the face of it, this may seem like an unusual circumstance for a coach to find a client in. However most coaches will work with clients who resist things - planning, focusing, letting go of control. So is this an issue of 'not planning' or 'resistance' or both?

Let's see what our community of coaches has to say about this one and I'll blog an overview with tips on how you can proceed in a separate blog post.

Coaches, post your suggestions and tips below - remember this kind of 'situational practice' is an excellent way to sharpen the saw. And even if you're unsure but want to give it a try - you can't hurt this website, whereas 'trying' in certain situations when you're out of your depth with a real client - can have damaging effects.

So comment on, and I will select a winner of the Coaching Question of the Day from the what unfolds.

P.S. The prize will be juicy - I'm still choosing! Lest you think the prize is a ploy... ;-) let's put a bit of a parameter around it shall we? Minimum five posts required before the winner will be selected.

P.P.S. If you're someone like me who hasn't been to coach training school for a while - or maybe even ever? Be sure to stay tuned for an upcoming announcement of 'The Sound of Coaching' and self-study training on the IAC Masteries.

Have you presented at a live event lately? Perhaps you have a few talks lined up for the fall. Good stuff. Many, many conscious entrepreneurs have a natural gift for building trust when face-to-face, and presenting your material as a speaker in front of groups is a solid leverageable business-building activity.

But here's the rub.

No matter how great your talk, workshop, training, keynote speech is, if you don't have things in place to take care of everything that happens after the applause, you've only done half your job. Remembering that everything is energy, think of your time in front of the group as prepping the vegetables for your stir-fry. After you're done, you have to carry through, follow forward - you still have to fry the veggies in order to make a meal.

How do you do that? Pay attention to the table at the 'back of the room.' (Or the booth in the exhibit hall, etc.) This is where the proverbial 'cash register' lives, yes? Where folks can now sign up for your program, request to be put on a waiting list, buy your book, join your newsletter readership, etc. etc.

Emphasizing: No matter how much caffeine you have in you, or how energizer-bunny you otherwise are, you alone cannot handle the table effectively, even if it's a small talk. So, best to learn how to enlist help - the good kind - and make the most of that help. Here's where you imitate an octopus.

A very useful step is to give a copy of the sample note below to every helper you have. Without you having to 'train' them per se, you can customize the note so it acts as your ambassador. It will cut down the amount of time you need to spend with each helper - a blessing for time-pressed you - and you'll marvel and how good a job it does at creating goodwill among the folk who are helping you.

Personally, I've found it seems to work even better if I handwrite the note. (Try handwriting it once and then photocopying it.) But remember this is just a sample - it happens to be a short one I used a few times this year - make sure you mess around with and elaborate on it to suit your purpose and personality.

---- Begin Sample Note ----

Dear Multiple Streams Volunteer!

Thank you so much for lending a hand today - you are very much appreciated!

With your extra set of hands and heart, we'll be able to quickly and simply facilitate folks getting hold of the additional books and CDs they will use to grow their businesses - fun, right?

So here are just a coupld of guidelines in case I haven't already been able to touch base with you personally - they're really easy points but important.

(1) When you receive an order form from someone, quickly scan each line to see that it's all legible. If you can't read something, especially things like names, credit card numbers, expiry dates, etc., ask the person for clarification and fix the appropriate spots on the form itself.

(2) Keep all completed order forms, cash, checks, etc. in a safe place with you in the folder provided or face down on the table next to you until you can pass these to Andrea/me after everything wraps up.

(3) For cash, we don't make change at local events so either collect the exact change or let the person know unfortunately we don't make change - is that okay with them? Of course this is entirely up to them - if it's not okay, they are welcome to pay by check or credit card.

(4) When we run out of stock, which we often do fairly quickly, we will still take order forms and will ship the items at our cost, just as our gift to them. This sometimes incentivizes people to order while still at the event, that's a-okay with us.

(5) After the purchase is complete, you can go ahead and invite them to find me - I'm happy to sign their purchases if they'd like. Even if you see that I'm busy or there is a line, that is okay. I will be happy to stay behind if needed so you can reassure folk of that okay?

(6) And last but not least, after things have all wrapped up, please do NOT forget - this is important - to come and track me/Andrea down. I have a final thank you for you - and a big hug - sorry, no slipping out without that okay? :-)

Alright, that's all - pretty simple right? And if you have any questions at all, do not hesitate to just find me, or ask the person to find me, or last resort, write down their question with name, email, phone and me or my office will get back to them asap. Hopefully that covers everything so that you can enjoy meeting with folk - just remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question AND I trust your judgement on things.

All that remains to say is thank you again...you are making a BIG difference, not just to me through your help but by making it possible for people to take the next step towards multiple streams...

With love and respect,

a

---- end sample note -----

Kinda cool, right?

What other things are you curious about managing after your public appearance? Questions about maximizing the opportunities? Other 'post-event' ools or templates you'd like to see here?

Photo credit: Thank you to Byron Van Arsdale who snapped the above photo of me at the ICF Conference last year. Click the photo above to enlarge, or visit the Coaching Electric for slides, notes, visual map and report card from the presentation.

A quickie invitation for you today, to a useful open call about Real Estate with my very own Real Estate Coach!

If you've always 'wondered' what Real Estate could mean to you, your business and your life, here's a chance to stop procrastinating and learn more in a no-pressure safe environment.

The call description is below with a registration link. Just remember it's an Open House call so there is no charge. I hope you choose to join in - I could think of no better person to introduce to you for real estate wisdom than my personal investment coach. And no worries - you can be ready this very minute to begin investing OR you can be just curious. Everyone's welcome.

===========================================================
"Making Real Estate Real" Open House Call with Investment Coach Cassandra White
===========================================================
sponsored by Andrea J. Lee of 'Money, Meaning and Beyond'

If you had $25,000 or more to invest right now, would you know what to do? If you knew real estate was where you'd like to put your money, what would be your next step?

As conscious business owners, not all of your hard-earned money need be reinvested back into your business. At a certain point in your business life cycle, real estate investment makes real sense, and that's just what Andrea and her husband Mike have been doing the last 4 years.

Now with four properties, some of which have appreciated over 50%, and looking at a fifth, Andrea credits her latest mindset shift to her investment coach Cassandra, who at the age of 33 now juggles joint ventures and investments for over 25 properties.

How does she do it and what does she advise? "Everyone with a little determination and creative thinking can do the same as me." "You don't have to start out with a ton of money." The great thing is, there are real investment opportunities available today, for investors who are ready to make the leap.

Join this one hour Open House call to learn about specific opportunities to pursue real estate coaching with Cassandra if the time is right for you.

Or, if you're new to this topic, register at the link below to hear Andrea interview Cassandra about how to get started, and generally get her to demystify the whole real estate game. You're right, you could pay thousands
of dollars to attend real estate training seminars to do the same thing.

But why not save those dollars and put them into the investment properties themselves instead?

There's no charge for the call - it's our way of opening up this conversation in the community. Just help us spread the word by forwarding this invitation, alright?

From Thursday June 14, 2007 | Audio Recording UPDATED WITH CORRECT AUDIO 6.22.07

Use the player below to listen to the audio recording from this call:

If you've been looking for a Mentor Coach to guide you to inner shifts and outer bigger income following the Multiple Streams model, I am opening a new set of Group Coaching calls beginning in June. Here are the details:

Title: Advanced Group Coaching | June to November 2007

This is a 6-month small group coaching format with:

• 3, 60-minute sessions per month on Tuesdays from 100 to 200 PM Eastern

• Calls will consist of 1 content/information-rich call organized around an advanced business-building theme; 1 hot seat & laser coaching call and 1 group brainstorming call. (Brainstorming will center on feedback and ideas from the group on your chosen project - first-come first-serve. While Hot Seat and Laser Coaching will be more Coach-Client oriented.)

• There will be a mailing list format for email communication with fellow coaches and e-coaching. Please note registration in the group indicates permission on your part to share your email address with the rest of the group unless you specify otherwise.

• Recordings, notes and any links will be shared via mailing list and/or webpage dedicated to the group.

Please Note: The month of July will feature Tina Forsyth as Coach on the theme of Teambuilding and Business Management.

As always the emphasis in Advanced Group Coaching throughout the 6 months is on tangible-nuts and bolts steps you can act on as well as big picture mindset shifts. Our goal is (always) money AND meaning, sustainably in a way that suits you as an individual.

• Theme for June - Simple Multimedia | Exactly How To Create Compelling Products (Includes Resources, Suppliers, Recommended Sub-Contractors and A Step-By-Step Process we will walk through together)

  Registration Closed

  *** Note: If you are interested in more than one month, or other discount options, be sure to see below for alternate payment methods. ***

• Theme for July - Increasing Your Biz Capacity | Hiring, Managing and Retaining Your Core Team led and facilitated by Tina Forsyth (Includes 'Who's the Boss of You' material)

  Registration Closed

• Theme for August - Identifying and Real-Time Implementation of Key Joint Ventures | Access to More Clients/Customers Equals More Money

  Registration Closed

• Theme for September - Closing the (eep!) In-Person Sale | Taking the Easy Route In Workshops, Seminars and Other Speaking Engagements and Earning More Money (Also applies to Virtual Speaking Opportunities or TeleSeminars)

  Registration Closed

• Theme for October - Strategic Planning for 2008 | What's Next for Your Biz? Possibilities, Planning and Implementation

  Click here to reserve your spot for October Only: http://tinyurl.com/2uqsok

• Theme for November - The Paul Principle | Businesses Grow and/or Shrink Based on the Capacity of the Business Owner - Let's Work on Your 'Who,' Open Your Money Chakra and Continue Working Less

  Click here to reserve your spot for November Only: http://tinyurl.com/3adlpq

NEW: We've also added a monthly Integrity Day the last Thursday of each month - the better to support you in getting real work done. Integrity Day Calls will be 12noon - 5pm Eastern (9am - 2pm Pacific) - calling in once per hour for support and to celebrate progress!

And here are three alternative options for registration:

Option #1: 3 60-minute sessions per month as outlined above $175 per month, one month at a time recurring for six months

Bonus to the first 5 to register: Your choice of one of two cd packages

Click here to reserve your spot: http://tinyurl.com/3drdbp

OR

Option #2: 3 60-minute sessions per month as outlined above $150 per month in one lump sum of $900

Bonus to the first 5 to register: Your choice of one of two cd packages

Click here to reserve this option: http://tinyurl.com/32ww2l

OR

Option #3: All of the above plus ONE 45-minute individual session per month with Andrea or Tina (your choice)

Note: Scheduling will be done first-come first-serve and individual time must be used each month.

$325 per month

Bonus to the first 5 to register: Your choice of one of two cd packages

Click here to secure this option: http://tinyurl.com/39kqmc

If you'd like to do some comparing, use this webpage to review regular 1-on-1 coaching fees and details:

http://www.MultipleStreamsCoaching.com

And here are a few kind words from previous coaching clients and Advanced Group Coaching attendees for your warm and fuzzies. :-)

"Andrea, I cannot say enough good things about our time together. You were business consultant, business coach, personal coach, and couples coach – all in just three hours!!

I loved the way you cracked open our business model to find the holes that needed to be plugged. I loved the way you were able to cut to the heart of every problem and concern, while still having compassion for the personal and emotional feelings surrounding it all.

Most of all, I loved the way you were instantly able to see the real reason I was struggling with my book. You were more right than you will ever know. "

-- Jennifer Koretsky Founder, Head Coach & Chief Visionary Officer
www.ADDmanagement.com

---

"Not only did we strategize exactly how to take my business to the next level, but Andrea also addressed ALL the pieces essential to creating the business and life I most want. I left our meeting with the big picture firmly planted in my mind, an action plan in hand, and no doubt that everything I’m envisioning for my business and my life will become my reality.”

Alicia M Forest, MBA
www.ClientAbundance.com

---

"I'm thinking in new and more powerful ways! I make decisions more quickly and decisively, I'm more focused and less frantic, and find it much easier to "let go" and drop or delegate work."

Terri Zwierzynski
www.Solo-E.com

---

"My business has completely changed because of this coaching. I have let go of a partnership and am now working with a new partner; this has been a huge shift for me. I get stubborn about how I think things are supposed to look, and Andrea's yoga for the mind, as well as no bull way of talking has really helped me rearrange the way I work. And thank God for that!"

Kristine Carey
www.LifestyleCatalysts.com

Got questions? Happy to help. Just email andrea@andreajlee.com and Tina or I will get back to you.

"Follow up, follow up, follow up."

Are you crumbling under the weight of "I should be following up!?" You want to bring in more business but following up isn't your forte? This No-Fee TeleSeminar with Alicia Smith will cover the pros and cons of usinsg email VERSUS snail mail for your follow up. It includes the introduction of a follow up system that allows you to 'UnShould' yourself without undue stress.

Because the fact is, we all follow up in one way or another. Some of us do it occasionally, others do it in fits and starts but the rare individual does it systematically and consistently. In this one-hour class we will look at how
to improve our follow up through the use of systems and technology. It really is possible to maintain a personal touch using technology?

Discover how you can dedicate one day a month or less to set up systems that will work for you, and assure that you continue to put your best foot forward.

>> Click Here to register and our system will send you a confirmation including bridge line number within a few minutes.

Date/Time: May 31st, 2007 at 4PM Eastern (2pm Mountain)

Thanks Alicia, for spearheading this important topic!

In keeping with our theme of making meaningful, profitable businesses easier...

In our fervent hopes to give you the tools to be the Sun, rather than blow til you're blue like the Wind...

We are pleased to introduce two new Audio products which are now shipping around the world:

Joint ventures are being solidified among some of the most far-flung, unexpected and fruitful individuals. After all, together we know everything and can do everything we’re meant to do.

Which is why you must know *exactly how* to broach the topic of splitting up the money in joint ventures. Many times, small business owners (you?) won’t even consider potential partnerships because they don’t know how to have ‘THAT conversation.’

Enter a simple formula that depersonalizes that conversation and makes it logical. Suddenly, so many more joint ventures are possible. You wouldn’t agree to help Michaelangelo paint the ceiling without a great set of paintbrushes, would you?

The good news is, the formula isn’t complicated, nor does it require a calculator, really. In fact, I dare say a large portion of the value of the material is from the sheer simplicity and robustness of the formula. We at Multiple Streams of Coaching Income use it several times a week, for ourselves and for clients. It hasn’t ‘failed’ us yet.

Think about it - with the right joint venture partners in place, you really can ensure your success. The trick is how to find the right ones, and then once found, how to negotiate a deal that works. Don’t become one of the many whose joint ventures, once so promising, fell off the tracks because “we couldn’t figure the money out.”

“Wow! what a great layout for the conversation. I love the two stories you tell, it makes it really clear. I just met with a business consultant who wants to use my convening skills within a company and the conversation turned to compensation. I shared this model with him and he loved it. It was right on the mark.”
Matthew Rochte
www.coachingintentionally.com

Included inside:

• 50-minute audio recording on CD presenting the money formula, plus ‘raw and uncut’
  laser coaching and FAQ
  
• 15-page How-To Booklet with specific language you can adapt

Includes a 50-minute audio CD plus 15-page How-To Booklet.  $47.00 + shipping

(see below for information on how you can save $20 with your purchase)

This CD plus How-To Booklet is for anyone who’d like to make (more) money from leading no-fee TeleSeminars. Designed for Coaches, Consultants and other service professionals whose primary business building strategy is education, it’s exactly what you would expect from the title: A Minute-By-Minute Template: Exactly What to Say, and When, To Effortlessly Generate New Business via TeleSeminars.

With specific verbiage to help you along, you can try it ‘by the letter’ at first, and then add your own fluorishes, all the while protecting the essence of the timing of each call, which is what is most influential upon sales.

If you’ve been leading some pretty darn good TeleSeminars - BUT... you can’t make them pay...this product will be for you. If you’re just starting, this product will be for you, BUT, you will not get a lot of basic ‘what is a TeleSeminar’ stuff.

Inside this slim little package is the precise format we at Multiple Streams of Coaching Income have used over the last 4 years to consistently fill TeleSeminars, lead them so our feedback is always fantastic, and convert customers in multiple markets. We’ve even used this template on behalf of consulting clients to bring them major 5-figure leads for their businesses.

“Well, I used your Minute-by-Minute Template and...It was brilliant!! A perfectly structured TeleSeminar, 50 people on the line, lots of Press-Number-5-On-Your-Keypad bleeps, and great feedback within hours.”
David J Scarlett
www.theultimateentrepreneur.co.uk

Included inside:

• A 25-minute audio recording on CD covering ‘Top Tips for Professional TeleSeminars’
  
• Plus a 40-minute ‘Demo’ Track from the Multiple Streams Commitment Club
  
• 25-page How-To Booklet with specific ‘how-to-end-the-call’ language and follow-up email templates

Includes 65-minute audio CD plus 25-page How-To Booklet.  $47.00 + shipping

Buy Together and Save $20!
Buy these two new products together (Joint Venture + TeleSeminars), and save $20 off the total combined price.
$94 + shipping
$75 + shipping

In my post about what's in store for Coaching in 2007, I mentioned coaching coming under fire...

Coaching Prediction #3: There will be an increase in mainstream criticism of coaching and the self-help industry as a whole.

First - don't get me wrong, I'm not fearmongering here. But experience tells me that with topics such as Law of Attraction gaining so much ground so rapidly, and Oprah taking on 'The Secret' and so on, there will be push-back.

And the criticism will take many forms, some visible and some invisible - the latter even sometimes comes from family and friends.

But here's the thing about criticism: most of the time I believe there's something in it that's of value, that can be 'taken like a vitamin' so as to make us stronger. It gives us 'rigor' as it were.

Which is why I try to listen carefully to critics. Because in all of our idealism and desire for a better world, it still pays to have a discerning eye, yes?

In response to the questions I've received about this prediction, probably the most useful thing I can publish is a list I've made of "8 Things I Personally Try to Live By, as an active practicing coach." As I process questions about the efficacy of coaching, handle push-back, or even take criticism, I like to test myself against what's said and tweak or refine. It's a little like a 'living code of conduct' and one of my most fundamental tools for growth.

In no particular order:

(1) Be responsible. First, last and foremost - do no harm.

As simple a baseline as this is for any coach, it's still one worth noting. I find this one grounds me when I read it as I do from time to time - and helps me take a light touch in sessions.

Have you asked yourself lately, how responsible (or irresponsible) are you being in your coaching? Are you going out on a limb and taking unnecessary risks? Even if they're just words to you, what you say and do, how you 'are,' in your sessions can have a lifelong impact. So these are words to live by - even if you think 'you know.' First, do no harm.

(2) Come to understand all clients will be 'done' one day.

There are short client relationships, and long client relationships. But no client relationship is forever. I like to look into the future a little and 'wonder' when a certain client may be 'done' and ready to move on, having grown out of our relationship. Not anticipate or force, mind you, just wonder...

Or, if I don't sense a feeling of 'completion' forthcoming with a client, I ask what's going on in the coaching that's lending us such a degree of 'comfort.' I don't doubt it's possible to have a coach-client relationship that's alive and awake after 5, 10 or more years, but I feel strongly these are in the minority. For everything there is a season, and all that... so yes, I look forward to witnessing great milestones in my clients' lives, and to saying a happy adieu.

Ask yourself "Are you in any way making efforts to keep your clients coming back?"

Do you know how to say goodbye to a client when it *is* time to say goodbye?*

(3) Cultivate self-sufficiency always. Be a no-addiction zone.

There is a huge world of a difference between marketing your services successfully, then securing a client as a result and ....creating an addictive relationship. Yet sometimes the differences can get blurry.

This is one of the reasons why it's critically important that coaches are never desperate for a client...the dynamic is instantly manipulative if that's the case.

I remember a mentor coach who I shadowed at the very beginning of my introduction to coaching. I had a visceral aversion to the way he seemed to revel in his clients' dependency...he would answer emails at all hours, always return phone calls, sometimes within a few minutes, encourage clients to be in touch very frequently...

On the face of it, this may seem like a strange thing to dislike...but I'm a fan of drawing out more self-sufficiency in a client. So I set it up that way - clients know I won't always reply quickly - they get a chance to think over their own questions. My answer comes more as an affirmation or addition to their own thoughts - but this way the key result is: they learn to think more assertively for themselves, and I'm the environment that supports that.

How might you be creating - even in a tiny way - a dependency on you in your clients? How can you embody tough love - the kind of love that creates strong individuals who don't need anything outside their own inner strength to continue on the path they've discovered? How might your financial situation be influencing how you relate to your clients?

(4) Focus on results, not just methodology or process.

Although results don't have to be money, or a promotion, relationship or other tangible thing, do ask yourself what intangible results you are creating. The best way to do this is still (only) to request your clients' self-assess.

Many clients may not realize they have the right to always be assessing your coaching relationship. You can help them by making sure they know they can always ask for tweaks, more focus, greater intensity or, indeed, whatever it is they want more of.

Coaching is not a 'holding pattern.'

(5) Encourage critical thinking.

Have you ever wondered why so many of us use our brains as storage facilities not thinking facilities? We go to conferences, listen to tapes, even read books with the goal of retaining as much as possible. This is not the original purpose for the human brain.

So first, think about how you might have stopped thinking critically about things, instead of just trying to remember things. And then, up the ante and ask how you can support your clients to think for themselves.

Most clients, as they articulate what they want and make choices about their lives, may not be thinking for themselves. Instead, they're thinking what everyone around them is thinking. Or perhaps even more frequently, thinking what people around them are telling them to think.

So obviously you as their coach have no agenda for what they ought to think, but you are asking them to think. Make sense?

(6) Be aware of your own persuasive powers. Triple check your marketing.

Although I don't remember the precise incident, I do remember the feeling - it thudded into my physical body. I realized that with the way I try to live my life, and the things I try to stand for, when I try to sell something, I need to be careful.

I realized, if I were to try hard enough, I could probably sell almost anything to anyone. And I do believe that's true of many, many coaches, just because of how 'in integrity' most of us live our lives.

That's not arrogance, it's just a reflection of the kinds of relationships we create - we care, and it usually shows, and people feel they can trust us. So while I would never intentionally sell something inappropriately to anyone, this is important - I triple check my marketing. (1) I make doubly sure I've told the truth. (2) I ask myself if I've overpromised anything. And (3) I make sure what I'm selling is something that will add value.

After all of that is done, I usually dial back my marketing language by 5-10%. It's just something that 'feels right' to do because there's enough marketing noise out there and I'm not interested in having to market anything 'hard.' It's kind of like a commitment to making sure anyone who purchases something from me is doing so with as clear a head as possible.

Note: For a portion of the coaching population, this one won't apply because you're actually having to learn to market enough - so don't hold back if that's you. But you know who you are - if you seem to be able to sell most anything to anyone - take a moment now to ask why, and if your conscience is clear about this 'talent.'

(7) Very few things are all good or all bad. There's really no such thing as all black or all white.

Over the years I've lived through some tough business situations where some pretty big tomatoes were thrown. It would be easy even now to think horrible things about some people. But the truth is, after my emotions are cooled off, I know that no one is all good or all bad, least of all me.

So instead of using up energy 'hating' a person or situation, or soaking in upset, I try to pull back and recognize there's no such thing as black or white. No single person, place or thing is all good or all bad.

Practically speaking then, how can you apply this to your life as a coach? Let's say a little criticism comes your way.

When someone hurls an insult at you, try to divide it by three before letting it in.

And conversely when a compliment comes, multiply by three and repeat the words to yourself before letting that in too. :-)

(8) Contribute to a body of ethics or standards of conduct.

I've been asking myself this question more often lately, especially on creative hiatus this month. Within the self-help and coaching professions, how can I help forward the idea that we can hold ourselves accountable? There is more and more activity being done under the 'name' of 'coaching' some of it not so great.

So in an unregulated industry, how can we seize the singular opportunity we have, to hold ourselves to the highest level of integrity?

Whether it be at our industry associations such as the IAC and/or the ICF, or on our own through our own professional codes of conduct or even personal lists like this one, how can we answer to the critics in a positive way?

As the answers emerge, we become more equipped to calmly and intelligently answer any positive push-back that might come our way.

I hope this list of things I try to live by, helps you create your own.

Overt criticism or no, I can think of nothing more useful and comforting - invigorating and energizing - than to know where I stand and how I feel about these 8 things (over and above coaching skill, technique or experience.)

For better or for worse, when it comes to serving my clients, this is what's going on in the background. And what I try to live by as an active practicing coach.

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*A lovely story about saying goodbye comes to me from the dusty corners of my memory. It's a buddhist story I believe, about a favorite mug.

Think of your most favorite mug. You love it and enjoy using it every time. But one day, it breaks, and is gone. Instead of being upset and unhappy that it's gone, what if you could say 'ah, there it goes.'

Because for everything there is a beginning and an end...'ah, there it goes.'