With Guest Contributor and The Sound of Coaching Collaborator Barbra Sundquist
Did you know the giraffe has the biggest heart in relation to its body size of any mammal?
That's why I choose it to be our symbol for learning the IAC's Coaching Mastery #1™: Establishing and maintaining a relationship of trust.
From the IAC website, Coaching Mastery #1is defined as:
Ensuring a safe space and supportive relationship for the client’s personal growth, discovery and transformation..)
(For members of the IAC, see their learning guide for more information
The keywords to remember for Mastery #1 are TRUST and RAPPORT (remember the giraffe with the extra-big heart).
Some of the ways that you build trust and rapport are by:
- using active listening skills such as paraphrasing and listening for feeling as well as content
- having a warm and supportive tone of voice
- validating the client's feelings
- asking for the client's suggestions and input
Action Item:
Listen to the 6 minute coaching excerpt below and then answer the questions. Then scroll down to read my suggested answers. (My answers are not all-inclusive. If you heard something that I didn't mention, well done!)
And now, continue reading for a set of questions (and their answers!) vis-a-vis this live coaching clip.
Questions
1. Was there a feeling of trust between the coach and client? How do you know?
2. Identify an example where the coach demonstrated active listening skills.
3. Give an example of when the coach invited client's input.
4. What did the coach do or say to help the client feel accepted and supported by the coach?
5. Were there any instances where the coach imposed an opinion, invalidated the client, or otherwise expressed or implied judgement of the client?
If it would be useful to you, post a comment to these questions below, before proceeding to read some of the answers provided.
Answers:
1. Was there a feeling of trust between the coach and client? How do you know?
- the client spoke very openly about something that was quite personal for her - she wouldn't have spoken so openly if she didn't trust the coach
- laughter - towards the end of the excerpt you heard some indications of relief and rueful recognition in the clients’ tone of voice.
2. Identify an example where the coach demonstrated active listening skills.
- "Gynn, last week you talked about your irritation and frustration, how are you feeling about it now?"
- "and when you say go deeper, what do you mean?"
- "what kinds of feelings come up for you?"
3. Give an example of when the coach invited client's input
- "how are you feeling about it now?"
- "and when you say go deeper, what do you mean?"
- "what do you know about introverts vs. extroverts" (notice that the coach asked for the client's input before doing any "teaching" or "informing")
- "what kinds of things have you done in the past?"
4. What did the coach do or say to help the client feel accepted and supported?
- Client asked "would that be alright?" and coach answers "that would be just fine"
- Coach did not rush to offer solutions
- Coach allowed time for the client to explore her thoughts and feelings
- Coach didn't make any assumptions about what the client means or feels
5. Were there any instances where the coach imposed an opinion, invalidated the client, or otherwise expressed or implied judgement of the client?
Comments, questions, about this live Coaching Demo? Post below.
If you enjoyed this tutorial and would like to see more, please let me know.
And if you'd like to hear me coaching three different clients in full-length coaching sessions, along with teaching commentary, you can order my 2-CD set called The Sound Of Coaching.
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Comments
I did enjoy this, very much. Many times the coach sounds robotic with observations and questions. This was very natural and genuine.
I would love to see more.
Posted by: Deni at October 16, 2007 4:49 PM
As a coach trainer and fellow mentor coach who is VERY selective and very into masterful coaching skills, Barbra demonstrated masterful coaching as it should be done. She was totally present, listening actively, powerful and direct with a loving tone, and created awareness early on.
I especially liked the way Barbra stayed with the client - she 'lead by following' is what I call it. She didn't let the client's words or thoughts evaporate - instead she questioned for further clarity.
All in all a great demonstration!
Marion Franklin, MS, MCC
Posted by: Marion Franklin at October 17, 2007 9:34 PM
Thank you Deni and Marion. You made my day! And you reminded me that it's time to release the second installment of that coaching session. Quite a few people have written to me to say "I want to hear what happens next!"
I'm very gratified to hear that my work makes a difference (I think that's a big driver for all coaches, don't you?), so thank you again for your comments.
Posted by: Barbra Sundquist at October 26, 2007 4:48 PM
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