Money, Meaning & Beyond, for Business Owners | with Andrea J. Lee: Do You Have a Favorite Coaching Question?

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

« Introducing Two New Audio Products | Return To Main Blog Page | Forbes Magazine Finds Christian Mickelson - but how? »

Do You Have a Favorite Coaching Question?

Apr 28, 07 10:55 PM | Posted by Andrea

I enjoyed this article from Marcia Bench over at CCI; it's pithy on the topic of great questions. What are some of your best coaching questions?

How to Amp Up Your Coaching Questions
by Marcia Bench, Founder/Director, Career Coach Institute

Asking coaching questions is distinctly different from asking for directions, asking permission, or asking how something works. Powerful coaching questions must have at least 4 key characteristics. Otherwise they won't further the coaching conversation, nor will they really 'hit the mark' with clients so that they have the breakthroughs they need.

So how do you know a powerful question? They must fit these 4 criteria.

1. Nonjudgmental vs. judgmental: 'Shouldn't you stay at your job instead of becoming a starving author?' is judgmental, and requires a yes/no answer. Instead ask 'Which option seems best to you? Why?'

2. Short vs. long: 'What do you really want?' is much more powerful for most people than 'In the ideal world, with all the money you want, and no concerns for kids or commuting or being by family, do you have an idea what you would choose then?'

3. Open- vs. closed-ended: Questions that require a yes or no answer stop the coaching session flat. So instead of 'Do you think you can do that?' ask 'What needs to happen so you can move forward?'

4. Match client's language and/or communication style: Clients process information differently - some use visual language, some focus on the auditory (hearing), others prefer to feel, experience and interact with it. Changing just a few words from 'see' to 'hear' or 'feel' can make a huge difference in the impact of the question.

'Master Certified Career Coach Marcia Bench, 'The Career Coach's Coach,' publishes the widely circulated 'Career Coach News' ezine weekly with over 7,000 subscribers. If you're ready to start or grow your own coaching business as an infopreneur so that you can have a huge positive impact on others' lives and the planet, make people's work matter™, and earn a great living working the way you want in the process, get your F_REE tips now at www.careercoachinstitute.com'

More on great coaching questions, how to ask them, and how to know if you're on the right track with them, in blog posts coming soon. How do you know when you've been asked a great coaching question?

Email this post to a friend.

Posted to For Coaches | General | Improve Your Coaching Skills

Comments

Hi all!

One of my favorite questions starts with "Are you aware that...". For example: "Are you aware that your answers seem short and curt?" or "Are you aware of what your eating?".

I've found this sentence start to be non-judgemental, non-attacking and a good setup for some feedback / info from me. If the answer is Yes, then I can delve deeper into what's making the person keep doing this behaviour. If the answer is No, then they've already learned something and can go forward, more aware and alert.

thanks. good question about questions!
- Matt

Posted by: Matt Perelstein at July 11, 2007 4:50 PM

My favorite coaching question is from my former coach, Sandra Ries. I was feeling fearful about something bad happening (I forget what now!) and she asked me, "and so what would happen if that happened?". And then to each of my responses, she'd repeat "and so what would happen then?" until I realized that no matter what happened, it wasn't the end of the world, I wasn't going to be destitute, people weren't going to hate me.

It was a powerful question, and yet so simple!

Posted by: Terri Zwierzynski at July 11, 2007 5:09 PM

I observed a coach and client in action and the coach asked the client what some possibilities might be. The client thought and said he really didn't know. The coach then asked, well, if you did know, what would you say? I was thinking that was a ridiculous question, but then the client responded with some great ideas and I have used it successfully many times myself. It is a great question that makes the client go deeper without any additional prodding.

Posted by: Tim Olson at July 11, 2007 8:28 PM

For me, one of the great pleasures of life is being asked a good question. Some of the things that happen for me when I'm asked a good question are:

- I feel inspired to answer. Not compelled, not to defend myself, but inspired
- The question opens up new paths for ideas and exploration
- The question nudges me out of a rut I'm stuck in. I use the word "nudge" deliberately because from time to time someone, coach or otherwise has asked a question trying to be "provocative" and it just comes off as mean or manipulative
- I feel curious because I want to know the answer too.
- I feel a little scared about what the answer may be but feel drawn to look anyway.

Good, juicy questions are a great gift.

Here's a good question I'm asking myself:

What would it take for work to REALLY feel like play for you? I like my work for the most part but I'm still working on projects and clients that aren't "jazzing" me. How do I change this?

Posted by: Judy Murdoch: Highly Contagious Marketing at July 12, 2007 8:31 AM